You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You ate ashes out of my bong
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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