so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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