I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
