The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
