but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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