I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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