Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
