Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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