Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
