: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
