Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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