he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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