Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
