Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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