wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize