Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You pole danced in your parka.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
