Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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