Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
