Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
