Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
