I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
