Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
