Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
