What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
