There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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