I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
