And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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