first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
