Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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