Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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