You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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