sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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