how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
