Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
