R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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