trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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