Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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