I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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