Ambien. No doubt about it.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
