It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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