Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
