gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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