Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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