apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
