you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Damn victory sex feels great
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
