Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
how does that bad decision feel?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
