then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
