woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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