You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
