Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
