try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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