so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
