whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
