she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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