what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
