dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
