So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
