hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
